From My Journal

A Sacrifice that Makes Sacred

Personal transformation requires us to go willingly and surrender to the unknown in order to experience the wisdom of knowing. What no longer serves us is sacrificed to change. It’s a process that we undertake as a necessary part of our self-actualization and it is known in myth as the journey to the Dark Goddess.

The Dark Goddess deals in change and rebirth is her paradox. She is called the Dark Goddess because the direction we go is the dark unknown. Willingly or unwillingly we surrender to facing our fears by entering the mysterious depths of our subconscious in order to reach her promise of transformation.

If we are brave enough and aware enough we make the journey to her willingly because we recognize that change is necessary. We feel stuck and unable to move forward and because of this we turn to the unknown. We let go and we travel deep within seeking guidance, ready to take on the transformation necessary for our own rebirth.

Or we face the darkness unprepared, feeling that it has been forced upon us. Unaware, we are suddenly on a journey through the unknown. We are confused as to how we got there and afraid of change because we have identified ourselves solely with all that we have lost. We have this deep sense that we are nothing without those objects that define us and we enter the unknown with fear and anxiety. Sometimes getting stuck in the process because we are unwilling to let go.

Either way, willingly or unwillingly we enter into a place that is called the Underworld.

We know this place as the mysterious depth within that contains our instincts, desires, and the parts of ourselves we have suppressed. It is the place we enter in or dreams and access through meditation. That metaphoric place in which we feel that we are elsewhere, disengaged from the world emotionally as we watch it pass by from a distance.

If we go into the Underworld seeking change is it important to prepare our intent. I believe that it is our question that becomes our intiaition and the depth of our transformation is dependent on how honest we are willing to be with ourselves.

What is it that we truly want? Where is it in our life that we feel the need for the ground to shift? What are the things in our life that we have become attached to because of fear of change? It is those things that we let go of fully to enter and undertake our journey.

We move into the Underworld and out of it by saying yes. Yes to acknowledging what has happened to us to cause us to seek change. Yes to accepting the painful situation as it is. Yes to surrendering to it. Yes to moving past it by letting it go. Yes to the wisdom gained in the process. Yes to bringing that wisdom into the light. Yes is the movement necessary to experience and embody change and transformation.

In letting go, you are reaffirming that you are more than what you have surrendered. And by doing this you are realigning yourself and your power with your true essence which you had previously attached to the things outside of yourself. This is the point in which difficulties that we have been experiencing transform into new inspiration and new meaning.

The ways of the Underworld are perfect. Whatever you lose, whatever is taken from you and whatever you choose to sacrifice is perfect in the way that it is the very thing holding you back from the change you seek. The exchange is perfectly balanced and it allows you to move deeper towards your own truth.

The ancient myths teach us that a balance is needed between what is known and what is unknown because we are constantly weaving in and out of it in our daily lives – it is a pattern that doesn’t leave us and yet we are so afraid to hold the balance.  We need to find a way to embrace this pattern and look for ways to conciously enter into the unknown so that we become familiar with it. So that we can move in and out of it with ease.

Our values should reflect the importantance of encountering both in our life. As mirror images of each other – certainty and uncertainty –  welcoming the experince of both as a totality without perference for one over the other.  Striving only for pleasure and security creates an imbalance that eventually tips over. Instead, we balance both to experience our wholeness.

I feel that it is in the unknown darkness that we develop understanding, compassion and experience renewal which is vital to our human development. Each time we return from our journey we bring back the newly discovered wisdom and innate powers that allow us to live more fully and genuinely in the world.

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