Graphiti in Istanbul

A Slowing Down of Something

I woke up this morning suddenly to what felt like a wildfire burning within me. All I could do was stare up at the ceiling and watch. My hands across my chest. The tiniest spark had set my darkness on fire and as I watched this fire, I thought – is this what desire looks like? Is this the beginning of feeling again? But I was still in too much pain to want anything.

I thought of this burning darkness and I knew right then that I didn’t belong to myself. I belonged to healing, to decision, to creation, to love – I was emptying myself of myself and moving back to the centre of my heart.

It was a spark of kindness that had ignited this fire. And then brought back the wetness of the rivers and the rain, finding no will to stop it.

“Can you see it?” I thought to myself.
“Love is falling in love with you.”